Today is a big day for my oldest son. Like I've mentioned before he is at the threshold of his music career. He is living his dream and pursuing it with passion. I remember a time when he told me he felt like he was in a dry spot and his music career wasn't going any where. I told him to hold on, this is probably just a character building time for you and God may just be testing you to see how badly you want it. He kept plugging and this is where we are today. He's performing at Fairpark in Dallas, TX.
Our relationship wasn't always good. There was a time we almost couldn't be in the same room or we would be at each others throats. We just could not get a long to save our lives. I take some of the responsibility. He was my first born and I was so strict. I had such high expectations and left little room for personal growth on his part. I kept the reigns a little too tight. I thought I was being a good parent by being overly protective, which in some areas of their life is necessary. The more I would try to control him the more rebellious he became. Of course there was some interference with my parenting but it was out of love. It did make it easier for Louie to be more rebellious and made me frustrated. I myself could have done a lot of things differently but with the firstborn and being a young parent who at 18 years old was still maturing herself mistakes were inevitable. I used to beat myself up over these mistakes and would place blame on my Mom for "interfering" when I would parent this child of mine. Now, I've forgiven myself for my mistakes and do things differently with my other two sons. As for Louie, my Mom and myself, we have taken the past and used it as a learning experience. Louie is now a parent himself and because of all we went through has become a wonderful father. He makes me proud when I see him lovingly parent his son. I get emotional when I see him with his son and see him do things the way I should have.
Despite how bad Louie thinks he had it. I guess my mistakes didn't have such bad repercussions after all. Look at him now!!!!
~A PROUD DIVA~
Congratulations on being a determined parent Christina. I know I don't have as many yrs experience as you yet but I know we all want our kids to walk a straight line and make all the right choices in life. It's hard being a strong/single parent especially when you have to draw a line between being a friend and being a parent. Unfortunately I've learned that the choices we think are right for our kids may not always be what they want and we have to let them be who they are and have faith that they will always make the right choice on their own because of the great parents we try so hard to be. I think your a great mama and have done a great job!!! Mistakes are a part of lives and always will be.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Roni! Sometimes I would wonder if I did the right thing but now that I look bad I guess I didn't do such a bad job after all. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think you are a pretty fantastic Mom yourself. Keep doing what you do and your kids will thank you when they are older.
Love you!