Dear Lou,
It’s been
almost two months now since you’ve gone to be with the Lord. I never imagined I
would have to live in this world without you. The boys and I miss you terribly.
Even though we did not live together for the past 17 years I always knew you
were there. Though I may not have ever
showed it or verbalized it; my love for you always ran deep.
We met when
we were just babies at the age of 14 and 15, who would have thought from that
encounter a legacy would be created. Our first born came to us at 17 and 18
years old and tied our souls together for eternity. Two more precious babies
were created by the love we had for one another. All the memories of the life
we shared together have come flooding back since March 21st. I
remember how we cried together when we left the first apartment we lived in to
move into our first home (lol). You were always a very sentimental person. I
remembered how you and Louie would cut the huge yard together on Fontaine.
Louie was only three or four years old and helped as much as he could but you
always seemed to find a way to make him feel like he was the biggest help. Oh,
remember when I came to the hotel with balloons to tell you I was pregnant? You
were so excited! Our sweet Christian was born nine months later. It took us so long
to decide what we were going to name him, remember (lol). We went back and
forth for months. He was so attached to
you because you would keep him with you during the day until it was time for
you to go to work at Dillard’s. It didn’t stop there did it? No, we decided to have
one more and try for a baby girl but we were blessed with another boy. God knew
what he was doing when he gave me all boys. I think I would have gone nuts with
a girl (lol). You were almost successful in convincing me to have one more to
try for a girl one last time but I folded (lol). You still got your girl
though, Kayla loves you so much and your baby boy Jacob is such a sweetheart.
All your kids miss you so much.
It’s so sad
to think about how true the old adage “you never realize how much you love
someone until they’re gone” is. Though life and circumstances separated us
physically I don’t think our hearts were ever separated, only the both of us
were too prideful and stubborn to admit it. I just want to tell you how sorry I
am for any pain I may have caused you in your life. I ca only hope you were
able to find it in your heart to forgive me at some point in your life. I know
I wasn’t always the easiest to deal with at times but as you know, my passions
and my emotions run deep. I hope you are at rest now and that every part of you
is completely healed in body, mind and spirit. Don’t worry about the boys I
will continue to take good care of them. They know you love them and will
continue your legacy of a “father’s love” with their children.
Although my
heart is broken because the only man I feel ever loved me true and deep is
gone; I will be at peace knowing I was loved so purely. In case you didn’t know
before, my love was just as pure, just as deep and just as true. My love for
you will always be.
Love always,
Cristina (you
always said my name in Spanish)
