Texas Gold

Raising children in and of itself is challenging but raising sons as a single mother is next level, especially if you are wounded yourself! I had the privilege of raising three amazing sons, each with their own strength and challenges but this story is about my eldest and testimony to God’s goodness and faithfulness.

I was 18 years old when I had my oldest son. I was scared, unsure of myself, and questioned if I would be a good mom. Truth be told, I did not want to leave the hospital with him because I was afraid that I would do something wrong. I was so afraid, I asked if I could stay one more day. The nurse who was discharging me said “you’re going to do just fine” with the sweetest smile, and with that I took my baby boy home. It was sweet in the beginning, and I did my best to be the best mom I knew how to be. A couple of years later his father and I married, had two more children then divorced. I’ll spare you the details of that, but what I will say is it left me very broken and wounded. When I became a single mom, I relied a lot on my oldest son for help with the younger boys. Little did I know at the time it was too much for him at that age. Then my anger and rage began to be displaced on him, which created rage and anger in him. Those teen years were tumultuous to say the least. He began to get in trouble at school and then with the law, which meant that I was taking time off work to go to parent-teacher conferences, third-party hearings with the school district, registering him in a new school because he was kicked out of the last one and detention hearings with the juvenile courts. I remember many nights crying myself to sleep, being so stressed my immune system would get weak and I would get sick. All I could do was pray.

When he was about 15 years old, he found a love for writing, singing and music. He continued to pursue music but then found himself involved in a lifestyle I did not condone. He never gave up on music, that was a lifeline for him, a way to get what was inside, out. I remember telling him, “Your music will not prosper if you are funding it with the devil’s money”. I was not sure if he really heard me, but I hoped that one day those words would resonate with him and he would make a life change. During those years, I would pray to God for him and ask God to save him, to separate him from the people that were drawing him further away instead of closer to him. In 2018 my son was put in prison for 18 months. That was a very difficult season for our family, but it was what God used to separate him and turn his life around. I remember one phone call during this time, when I heard his voice, I could hear the pain. He had just watched the Grammy’s on television and saw two fellow artist who were starting their music careers around the same time he did. With brokenness in his heart he said, “Mom, I messed up. I missed my change!” I reminded him that he does not get to make that decision, God is the author of our destiny, and He has the final say. During his sentence he served on the church choir team and kept his passion for music. Upon release he tried to find a job but unfortunately, it can be challenging when you have a record. Through much perseverance and determination, he found himself back in the studio making music, but it was not until he found his niche in country music that it began to take off. He began to gain popularity on social media platforms which gained his recognition with record labels and eventually a record deal.

There is one song that I love, and it is Texas Gold. I love the lyrics and the talent put into the song, but what I really love is the video. Watching him dance on sand dunes, doing what he loves and making a living while doing it, is more than a mother could ask for. When I come across clips of him at his shows I cannot help but thank God for his faithfulness because for a time there, I felt like my son, like I had messed up too! BUT GOD!

If you feel like you have messed up your life or are past the point of help. My prayer is that this will bring you hope because no person is past the point of redemption, only God can determine that. Your Texas Gold could be one prayer away!   

 Psalm 127:3-4 “3) Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. 4) Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.

~A Diva's Diary

Not Bad for a Riffraff

Romans 8:28, 2 Corinthians 5:17, John 1:12, Romans 8:17, 1 Peter 2:9, Romans 8:1, Romans 6:6, Ephesians 1:6, 2:13, 2 Corinthians 5: 21, Ephesians 2:10, Philippians 4:13,  Romans 8:38-39

When I was a little girl my mom would drop me off with my older cousin who babysat me while she worked. I was in kindergarten at the time and my cousin would walk me to school and pick me up after, and we would walk back to her house. On occasion, I was allowed to go a couple of houses down to the neighbors to play with their daughters. I would open their gate and walk down their short side walk to the stairs that lead to the porch. I would knock on the door and sometimes their Dad would be the one who answered. When he saw it was me, he would immediately say “Hey it’s riffraff!” I had no idea what that meant but I knew it must not have been good because his wife would elbow him every time. I know he meant no harm in saying that about me because I assume it came from a time I showed up at the door, probably my hair a mess, my clothes dirty and possibly barefoot, so in all honesty I probably did look a little riffraffish! So, he may have intended to say it that time but after that it stuck. 

I remember as an adult wondering what that word “riffraff” meant exactly so I proceeded to dictionary.com. I almost regretted it at the time because although I knew it was not favorable, I found out just how unfavorable it really was. The first definition of riffraff is this - “1. People, or group of people, regarded as disreputable or worthless, 2. The lowest classes, rabble, 3. Trash; rubbish.” I was mildly offended but did not give it too much merit because I knew it was not said with malintent. I did not give it any more attention until just a few days ago. I was on my way to work and contemplating the past 30 years as I made my last commute to work because I had retired. Then, just like He does, God gave me a wink and I had this thought - not bad for riffraff!!! It was at that moment that Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to His purpose.”, came to me. What the enemy meant for bad, God used for my good and His glory!

This led me to do a deeper dive in who we are as sons and daughters of the Most High God! Scripture says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” That meant I was no longer riffraff because I was made NEW! This also makes us a child of God and Heir and co-heir with Christ, if we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory, (Romans 8:17). In 1 Peter 2:9, we are told that we are a chosen people, royal priesthood, holy nation, and “...people belonging to God so that we may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”  The bible also tells us we are forgiven, free, accepted, righteous and created for a divine purpose. As children of God we can do ALL things through Him who gives us strength and we are secure in that “...neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

As I reflected on this word, and all that God did in me and through me throughout the years, healing and restoring me. I also thought about all I was able to accomplish, raising three exceptional sons, completing a degree, 30 years of dedication to my work at the college and now my ministry. I felt so much gratitude that God would take what the enemy meant for my harm, and use it for my good and His glory! If you find yourself in a place or circumstance where someone may not be speaking favorable words over you, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I hope you come back here to reference these scripture and remind yourself of ALL that GOD says you are and find security and confidence in knowing you are an heir, created for divine purpose and intention!

~A Diva's Diary