A Love Story Written by God

WOW…. what a whirlwind of a year this has been! I began the year completely focused and surrendered to God’s will for my life and He utterly blew my mind! I will do my best to describe just how magnificent our God is and how His grace and mercy abound much. I do not know if there are enough words in the dictionary to express just how good God is but I will certainly try.

I was a divorced single mother for 21 years and those of you who are also divorced and/or single know how lonely that can be at times. In my 21 years of singleness, I did date in an attempt to meet someone and possibly get married again someday. Unfortunately, all that happened was one failed relationship after another and a few, ok a lot of one-time dinner dates, because well, we have to have some standards, right? Some of those failed relationships did come with tremendous heartbreak but with each also came wisdom and knowledge. Did I always use the wisdom and knowledge I had gained? No, in some instances I had to repeat the mistake before it got through my thick skull that maybe that is not God’s plan for me. I would repent and “resubmit” my heart and life to God, then when He was not moving fast enough for my taste I would “help” him. That never worked either. Finally, toward the end of 2021, I was so tired and broken from the last horrible relationship I had no desire or energy to force anything else into my life. I took a sabbatical from dating and focused my time and energy on growing my relationship with God. I deleted any dating profiles I had and said no to suggestions from friends, family, and anyone who attempted to introduce me to someone new. I took those last few months of the year to focus on my relationship with the Lord and me. I had decided that I would reevaluate where I was spiritually, mentally, and emotionally at the beginning of the year to determine if I was ready to date again. Little did I know that as I was focusing on God, He was orchestrating the most beautiful love story I had ever known, mine and my husband’s.

In August of 2021 my eldest son was stranded at the airport for four hours with a flat. After many failed attempts at fixing it and finding a spare, he finally called mom (me) for guidance. He asked for a tow truck but I told him knew of someone who owns a mobile tire and service business. So, I contacted that person and my son was back on the road in less than an hour. I know this seems irrelevant but those who know me and my children up close and personally know my eldest has always been the hardest to win over. Fast forward four months I am now working a sip-n-shop for my Mary Kay business and the same gentleman that owns the mobile and tire business paid the support of his business forward and ordered products from me for himself and visited the vendor event to do a little more shopping for Christmas gifts. Even though we had been Facebook friends for almost three years already I had never met him in person. He messaged to let me know he was on his way to pick up his product so I went to the car to get it and put it in a bag for him. While I was walking to the car I noticed he was parking his truck so I waited to let him know I was going to my car. You know how in the movies when the couple lay eyes on each other for the first time and they are mesmerized and everything is in slow motion? Well, I am a living witness that it happens in real life too! As he was stepping out of his truck I watched those cowboy boots touch the ground, and noticed his heavy starched jeans and western belt, which tucked away his nicely starched button-down shirt, his Ariat vest was a nice touch too along with the felt cowboy hat but it was the smile he gave me when he said hello from under that cowboy hat that completed the ensemble and made time stand still. I replied hello and let him know I was going to my car to get his product, little did he know I was flustered and nervous on the inside like a little school girl. Like the gentleman, he is he walked me to the car and then walked back into the sip-in-shop with me. He browsed and shopped while I dropped products, receipts, and whatever else my nervous hands attempted to grab. After meeting him in person I was intrigued and I just knew I needed to know more about him so I suggested an impromptu dinner, since I had not eaten all day that day. He agreed and we had a quick pleasant dinner. He walked me to my car and said thank you for suggesting dinner gave me one of the warmest, strongest, and most comforting hugs I had ever had. It felt safe. We did not see each other but maybe one other time after that when he dropped off some food for me at my other job. I ended up with COVID the following week, which I feel was God’s way of saying, you made a promise to me and I am holding you to it. I had one of the mildest cases of COVID one could have. My kids were hit a little harder and my new friend offered his assistance countless times. Of course, I would politely decline because I tend to be a little stubborn on the receiving help spectrum but there was one day I did accept only it was for my kids. They had been nursing their baby girl through COVID and it began to take a toll. One of those days they had not eaten in almost 24 hours and it was pretty much impossible to leave one alone with the baby since she required so much care and they were tag teaming while the other rested. I asked my friend if he could drop them off some food and within 30 minutes food was on their porch. We got through COVID and finally got together as a family on New Year’s Eve since we missed Christmas quarantining. While we were there I showed my middle son my friend’s Facebook story of a deer he had shot while hunting that day. My son has always had an interest in hunting. While looking at his picture my eldest son asked “who is that?” I told him it was the guy who helped him with his tire that night at the airport his exact words were “now that’s a good guy” my middle son and I shockingly glanced at each other because he has never said that about anyone. Oh, I forgot to mention during this time my AC unit had also stopped working so we had no heat at home. The next day on January 1^st my friend invited me to dinner and also brought a space heater to help until the AC repair man came that following Thursday, he also brought a truck bed full of firewood the next day. After that first official date, I would get a good morning text with a link to a song and a sweet message to have a blessed day. This went on for weeks, I will spare you the rest of the mushy details that lead to March 11, 2022, the day he proposed and asked me to marry him. I was caught by surprise and looking a hot mess. It was dress-down Friday at work if that gives you a hint. From that moment on I knew this was the man God hand-picked for me because I had peace in my heart and in my spirit, which I had never had before. We began planning a wedding and on November 26, 2022, I became Mrs. Hector Villalpando. Even at my best, I could not have chosen a better man for me. He takes care of me on a much deeper level than anyone ever has. He leads me spiritually, covers me in prayer daily, and supports me in all I do. He cares for and loves my children as his own and I love his children just the same. I am so thankful I surrendered my life and will to God because His best for me far exceeds my expectations (Ephesians 3:20-21).

If you are single and frustrated with meeting the wrong person over and over, I encourage you to take a break and use that time to seek God and His will for you. So many times, we “hear pray for the man/woman you want, be specific in your request and God will answer”. That is great advice but that is not the only thing you should pray for. God already knows the desires of your heart and what you need. I strongly believe God knew I was ready for my husband when I stopped praying for what I wanted in a husband and began praying and asking Him to search my heart and show me the things in me I need to change to be the wife I need to be should He decide to bless me with a husband. I could have had the man of my dreams standing in front of me but If I was not right in my heart, mind, and spirit it would not have worked. I probably would have destroyed the opportunity. It was not until I began to ask God to change me that He gifted me with a man after God’s own heart. There is nothing more beautiful than walking into the living room or kitchen and seeing your husband in God’s word or listening to a sermon. So again, I encourage you to seek God first, pray and ask Him to give you the will to do the hard thing and weed out all that is not of Him. I will not lie and say that every day will be easy because it won’t be. Some days will be easy and some will be hard but remember that God’s word says in Philippians 4:13 “ I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Stay focused and “…press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [you] heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13). If you can do that you will live in His goodness and perhaps with the one He hand-picks for you.

https://youtu.be/WEJs_Bqx8_o

~A Loved Diva💛💚

Where’s Your Focus?

2021 has been a year of transformation and restoration for me. The revelation of this did not come to me until the last few months of the year as I began to reflect on all God had done for me and in me. My word for the year was “TRANSFORM”, little did I know how powerful it would be when I chose this word. For me to fully enlighten you I have to take you back a couple of years to 2018. 

I started day one of 2019 with a 90-day devotional by Priscilla Shirer, one of my favorite pastors and teachers of the gospel. The title of the devotional is “Awaken: 90 Days with the God who Speaks”. I decided to begin the new year by spending time with God for the first part of each day. Little did I know how much of an impact this would make in all areas of my life. The year before, in 2018, our family had suffered THREE devastating blows. The first was the unexpected and tragic loss of my children’s Father at the young age of 45. Though we had already been divorced for 17 years the grief was heart-wrenching. The second was my youngest son’s car accident that could have taken his life but fortunately for him and our family, an ambulance was just a few short feet away. When I called the hospital after being informed of the accident; the nurse told me “Ma’am we will provide you with more information when you get here” my heart sank into my stomach. All I can remember thinking is “what could they not tell me over the phone?” Lastly, the imprisonment of my eldest son. No matter how much you feel you are prepared to see your child have to atone for their choices you never really can prepare yourself enough emotionally. It’s the same heartache you experience when someone dies. Sit for a moment and take that in, imagine all three events happening within a short few months of one another, one right after another before you’ve had a chance to fully process the last. I believe most would think there is no way to walk through such events without losing some of your mental and emotional stability. I admit there were days that I cried myself to sleep, got on my knees in my prayer closet, and called out to God for continued strength but I never lost my footing. My feet were planted solidly on the word of God and His promises. I remained steadfast pressing into Jesus continually which made it possible to persevere through each of these without “striking my foot against a stone” (Psalm 91:12). How you might ask? I firmly believe it was because of where my focus was. I became laser-focused on God (my Father), Jesus (my Savior), and the Holy Spirit (my Counselor). Has it always remained that way? NO! That sly, cunning, and evil devil slivered in and sadly was able to distract me.

Toward the end of 2019, I found myself in a relationship I should have never been in. I didn’t realize it at the time because I was led to believe that circumstances were different. As time went on the truth began to reveal itself. I was told repeatedly, “please give me time to make things right”. The truth is this person was still married and not at all in the process of a divorce as he had led me to believe. Against my better judgment and my spiritual beliefs, I gave him time to make it “right”. He never did and his continued pursuit of me after I attempted to walk away on multiple occasions began to shift my focus from God to him. I became so consumed even obsessed at times with every broken promise and questioning every motive he had that this “situationship” became my primary focus. As a result, I suffered a great deal of stress and heartache to the point my hair began to thin and I even had occasions of low-grade fevers with no other symptoms (which I found is also related to extreme amounts of stress). I also suffered from bouts of severe depression and anguish that resulted in days without eating, leading to unhealthy weight loss. Needless to say, I was beyond an emotional mess! Who I had become was not at all the same woman I was. I lost myself in the process and was having difficulty finding my way back.  Thanks to the support of my family and friends I was finally able to break free of that relationship. Through lots of prayer and interceding, I was delivered from the stronghold of that ungodly, unhealthy situation and set free by the Grace of God. You may be wondering where I am going with all this, so stay with me.

Recently I began a book study with some amazing Godly women on the book “Fervent” by Priscilla Shirer. In this book, she teaches you how to pray fervently and specifically over different areas of your life. One of those areas is our “Focus” and how to pray and protect ourselves against the enemy’s attempts to disguise himself and manipulate our perspectives so that we’d focus on the wrong culprit (excerpt from the book). Before starting this book study, I would often ask myself “how did I get so lost in that relationship and actually lose myself in the process?” I was so perplexed because just a couple of years before I suffered heart-wrenching events in my family and I didn’t lose myself in the process. So, what was so different this time? And just like that the proverbial light bulb came on and the Lord said to me what seemed almost audibly “your focus was different”. In 2018 my focus was on God and I continually fed myself from His word, listening to sermons on YouTube every morning and staying in prayer. The following year, 2019 my focus shifted from God to my relationship. In this chapter of the book, Priscilla talks about how important it is to put on the full Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17). The Armor of God is His Truth (God’s standard), Righteousness (right living), Peace, Faith, Salvation, and The Word of God (the Bible). All of these I had abandoned in pursuit of something the enemy used to distract me from my focus on God. Thankfully God is merciful and no matter how distracted we become, He is always there to welcome us back with His grace when we get our focus right.

 If you are struggling with stress, anxiety, depression, and a lack of peace in your life, I encourage you to examine where your focus is. Are you giving most of your attention to external factors in your life or are you focusing on God and His truths? If your answer is external factors I encourage you to get laser-focused on God and feed your spirit with His word daily. Take moments to listen to praise & worship music and listen to the love story in each song of just how profound God’s love is for you, soak it up, take it in and let it nourish your soul. I assure you that when you consistently seek HIM above all else (Matthew 6:33) you will begin to see a shift in your focus and in your life.

~A Transformed Diva